Marriage, like anything in life, can sometimes slip into autopilot mode. The daily grind, responsibilities, and routines take over, and the spark that initially brought you together might start to fade. But it doesn’t have to be that way! A healthy, thriving marriage requires intentional effort and constant realignment of your priorities.
I believe that these 10 points can help. We believe these are the essential ingredients for keeping your marriage a top priority, and we encourage you to print this checklist, put it on your fridge, or even frame it as a daily reminder to strengthen your bond. Here’s a closer look at each item:
Remember what originally brought you together. Do that!!! If it was a sport, or a video game or a common interest, do it! Make a point to schedule this thing into your schedules together each month. Recapture that initial magic.
Behind closed doors, you will argue. But, it’s important that to other people, you are a team and the other person’s biggest fan. We have an agreement in our relationship where we do not speak negatively about each other unless it’s to each other’s face and in private. More on that in another post. The world should see just how much you love your partner and the words you say, especially in public, matter. I mean, unless you are Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively trolling each other that is. Lol.
Have fun together. Plan date nights, outings, and prioritize time alone as a couple. Fun is an essential component of a strong relationship. Especially if you have children or obligations or even just a full time job, prioritizing time together, out of the house alone is something most people don’t do. I personally have to block off a specific amount of time on my calendar to allow myself time to search and plan out the fun things that my better half and I will do that month. Sometimes, I look at my communities FaceBook pages, Google events etc.
We use the TEAM method (detailed in another blog post) to ensure we’re on the same page. Make an intentional effort to discuss each other’s day, frustrations, and thoughts.
Take a yearly vacation together, even if it’s just a short drive away. Explore new places and enjoy stress-free time together. No obligations, no family, no meal prepping, time blocking, task lists. Just the two of you.
We all have rough days. Sometimes one of us is super enthusiastic and the other is just down in the dumps. It’s important to NOT be on the same level when this happens. When your partner is down, give them the appropriate amount of time to feel those feelings while you feel the opposite. I’m not saying bounce off of the walls and blast music and force them to dance and smile, but make sure that you are doing kind, subtle things and speaking positively while appreciating your partner and encouraging them to not give up. The second biggest part of this is to not allow your partner to bring you down. Two is not better than one in this type of headspace.
Think of this as if you were a dog. When I come home each evening my Tucker boy is SO EXCITED to see me. He wags his tail, he rubs up against me and sometimes he even gets the zoomies! This dog expresses his gratitude and love for me just because I came in the door. It makes me feel great! Imagine if your partner greeted you this way and you greeted them this way. What is the point of even coming home if you can’t show the other person how happy and appreciative you are that they are there with you, busting their butt to get through each day to come home to you. Show appreciation for one another every day in this way.
A successful marriage means both partners giving their all. It’s like a full-time job, and it’s crucial to always think about how to serve your spouse. After all, there are two people in this relationship. Both people have to seriously focus on how to serve one another and give 100% to the other person no matter what.
Couples that don’t have mutual dreams rarely build empires together and they definitely argue on vacation together. Have you ever seen that show, Raising Hope? Burt and Virginia have been together since high school and they both had a mutual dream of him being a rockstar. In multiple episodes you see the couple discussing their large dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may seem.
This entire page has resources for you on how to achieve solutions when fighting and how to fight better. We suggest you get real good at improving these skills and never lose sight of this. When people fight, emotions and anger take over and we never want to say something we don’t truly mean or blow things out of proportion for no reason. Have you ever gotten into an argument and realized you were just hangry? Me too boo!
A successful and happy marriage is not something that just happens; it’s a continuous journey. By incorporating these 10 key elements into your relationship and using this checklist as a reminder, you can keep your marriage a top priority. Remember, it’s the small, intentional actions that accumulate to create a deep and lasting bond. So, print out this checklist, put it on your fridge, and let it serve as a daily guide to building a thriving, loving, and enduring marriage.
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